Through the eyes of somone you do not like...

Have you ever found yourself at a point where you don't like someone, yet for whatever reason you find there is nothing really, truly and honestly at the root of this feeling nothing to base that opinion on? I have, and I have let snap judgements get in the way of getting to know someone else. I am not saying everyone was get along in some Walt Disney version of reality, but for a moment yesterday I caught myself wondering.. Why does so and so irritate me so much? (the person was not even present, so clearly it was bugging me)

I thought about it and thought about it, and I realized I was influenced by the opinions and values of someone else. I made snap decisions based on the individuals thought process, and did not take into account what in fact is awesome about who they are.. I had to stop and look at an overall situation through the eyes of someone I do not like, to see clearly what I may or may not be doing that is causing discord. And then I must let it go -- personal or professional.

Now, I have always been self reflective. I also have come to a point  in my life where I  do not feel the need to please people all the time. I will take responsibility always for my actions, I will say to you what you think I may say behind your back - these are qualities in me you can either like or dislike, but they are me. If I say it, feel it or do it I will own it. I don't pretend otherwise.

But on this wonderful journey of  reflection I have learned a few things;

• Those that share tendency's with me that  I do not like in myself, I will not like in them.
• Those that do not try when they could succeed if they pushed a little harder, makes me cringe.- not proud of it but everyone makes judgements and this unfortunately is one of mine. If I inflict this judgement on you,can you imagine how much I do it to myself.
• I believe that saying thank you is not needed between family members and close friends, and nor should repayment be expected -- family are family. I learned this lesson over the past three years very well. You  help,do or say because you should, it is what defines family and soul friends.
• I know nothing, have so much more to learn... and if I looked at me through the eyes of someone I did not like --- I wonder would see, hear, and feel.

Here is hoping, that the next time I let myself make a snap judgement about someone else, I will stop, turn around and make an informed choice as to how to respond. Life is full of lessons so I am taking mine one at a time.

M