Life lessons

About a year ago I was walking with a sense that life was good, I was happy, life was good work was great..but in those moments I also  feared  that because life was good I was waiting for the next disaster to happen. It started as a whisper and then became a heartbreaking in my face life defining moment.

My fortieth  year  was to be filled such amazing experiences, and true moments of  self acceptance, love and pain.. In my year of all about me, I was privileged, celebrated by those I love and began a journey of letting go of false ideas about myself.

But it was a brief moment in time three months ago  in a moment that I could not control, could not plan, organize or predict that has taught me the most important lesson in life.

When you look into the eyes of the person you love, have shared every part of your soul ,the good the bad and the ugly, and you watch them close their eyes close and they have said I love you and you believe it is for the last time, something inside changes you. And then I was blessed and those eyes opened and amazing medical professionals did their magic and my love came back better and stronger then my mind could comprehend, and we went on with life - one eye open while he slept, because he was still there still breathing.

So what i have I learned from a year of wonderful highs, dramatic lows, and a moment of soul crushing grief?

Nothing that has not been said before, but words once empty now have a depth of meaning to me, that it took me forty years to finally get.

-Love  -  if you really love someone, love everything about them .. even the ugly parts

-Do not give up parts of who you are or be ashamed that you are not "as good" as someone else - you are better to accept your challenges and rise to meet them.

-Let go of people who you have grown apart from , not in malice but with acceptance that you do not have to hold on to relationships and people who have let go of you.

- Leave behind the what if 's -

-life is not measured by the toys you have, the clothes you wear ..it is by every beautiful breath of air you breath, make everyone of them count.

- Believe in second chances - focus not on the moment the world went pear shaped, but when it righted itself and you got to try again.

I have always believed in showing the people you love how you feel, now i understand that in what may be someones final moment what it feels like to KNOW you are truly Loved by them - never take someones heart for granted it is the greatest gift you hold in your hands.

M