Dear Melanie

Dear Melanie

What a ride it has been, long ago you could not imagine 40, now with just a couple of weeks away you are beginning to think, heck bring it on -- 50 looks pretty swinging these days. Get over it, you are not old.. you are just starting to figure a few things out, and more questions and puzzles will keep you hopping!

But there are a few things I would tell like to tell you (me..LOL this is odd writing to myself but hey, indulge me)

To my 15 year old self, dear lord you were brave.. where did you go? The energy was boundless, the heart full of love.. and man are you boy crazy! Try and stay away from him ... well what the heck he is super fun a bad boy and lots of fun.. by 17 you will begin to get over it all!

To 18 year old me, it was a hard choice to let his spirit go.. you did make the right choice and it will get easier and life will soon start to make sense.

To 19 year old me... slow down!! don't rush, don't jump into being all grown up! Stop, play and have fun! PSST you also will meet the father of your child for one brief second, 10 years before you see him again..pay attention!! He is kind of cute ( in your mind picture without the super long ringlets!) and he is trying to get your attention.-- what a different world that would have been?????

To 26 year old me.. you should have said no, you should have listened to your heart, your sister and said goodbye..your lesson did not have to be so hard... and don't waste 17 thousand dollars on one day! - but if you do -- good lord the dress does not need 1000 pearls and your hair does not need to be that high!  ( credit here - it was a GREAT day.. there was a reason it tookso long  before happening you should have thought it through girl! )

To 28 year old you..wow where did you pull that strength from? I promise you.. in a years time , a year of heartache, a year of Art, a year of photography, and a year of tears.. you do begin to breath, you do begin to see the world through your own eyes, and wow you travel, and you begin to heal... really heal and learn that life is just beginning for you..and your friendship style changes, you will change everything about who you were and start to become who you are.. it is hard and i promise every one of those tears is worth it!..and keep saying what your wise friend told you..everyone comes into your life for reason, some stay and some go..

To 29 year old me... what!! who are you??? Wow go for it, change your life.. it gets even better! and pay attention he is asking you out and you are not even aware dumb ass!... sigh..good thing he keeps at it.. ignore the other one.. pay attention!! he asked you out again!! yup your clueless!

To 30 year old me.. thank goodness you seem to be getting it now..going to be clear sailing for a little while. But you smoke way to much! Stop it!

To 31 year old me -- don't worry so much, he will show up..and laugh at you for worrying.. head up girl your good, life is good.. but enjoy it a bit more, relax -- if you can.

To 33 year old me ... your a mom , relax a little enjoy the year don't rush back to work dumb ass! pay attention to everything you will blink, and she will be grown up.

To 35 year old me.. see you made a good choice a week in Paris surprise, see what happens when you make good choices! but go to the top of the Eiffel tower silly girl, don't be so afraid! Good for you you quit smoking, but don't pig out!! sigh now that is a goal for 40!

To 39 year old me...you worried about nothing, you need to relax. 40 is the new thirty..so take your own advice, Live Love and Laugh another 40 years and bitch about being old when you have earned it!

Hello 40, looking forward to the travel, the friends, the kid, the best hubby and the adventure that awaits..I am so over the old shit!

Melanie almost forty and planning on celebrating it the whole year long!