The world of what if ?

Have you ever wondered where you would be, if your life would be different if you said or did something that would change your reality today?

I have and at times, I do wonder what would my life be like to day if..

(What if?.....)

1. I stood up to the bullies at school when I was younger, would I have thought myself more worthy and had more confidence in myself -- at a younger age?
2. I never stole $20 dollars from a friends mom's purse ( Horrible - but a clear sign of what was going on in my life at the time) - would I have been around that same friend, and would my choices have affected hers later in her life?
3. I stayed out west when I went to visit my dad- who would I be now, if I never came home -- this answer scares me actually - I believe I would be a very different human being.
4.  I made a different choice with my first love, what would have happened with my childhood best friend and I - would it have changed anything had I said yes?
5. I never met little Nathan - would I work in the field I do? - and if not what on earth would I  be doing now?
6. I knew myself, my dreams my beliefs at a yonger age, would I have all the same people in my life?
7. I choose the university course offered when I graduated from college - would I have questioned my intelligence when in the same room as doctors and lawyers etc.
8. I didn't get married the first time, when the Tarot cards said -- STOP! the night before?
9. I tried harder at so many other things that caused me to struggle, would i have won?
10. I was prettier, skinner, richer and happier - would I value people differently or would I be the same person.

I could "what if" all night, and I will never know the answer, unlike ERICA on TV, i can't go back and change a single moment that brought me to this point in my life, and I am not sure that I would. Pain, Jealously, Laughter and pure Joy I have had all these feelings. I have laughed with wonderful people, cried over terrible people, and missed friendships, and morned loved ones. These are all stories written in my life - and yet at times I question choices, reflect often on those that I have loved and lost, and think - did I make the best choices for me.

Probably not - at least not always. But damn - I have led a good life, I am blessed, I have family , health and home.. what on earth could I possbily be "missing"... I don't know -- but my guess is, we all get the case of what if's now and again..

What if I could change the world ? ..... maybe I already did!