Goodbye Perfection - we never met but I don't want to anymore -- your too much work!

As I mentioned a few blogs back, lots has been going on in my world. ( whose isn't busy these days?) Long before marriage, long before family life.. I thought I had it all organized and figured out -- what did I have figured out you ask? - Life of course! Arrogant statement, but I truly believed I knew what I wanted, what I could do in my life and that I would be brilliant at it.  Confidence can turn to arrogance easily. 

Along the way I learned I didn't have it figured out (Surprise!) and this would make me try harder to control my life, my outcomes and what directions I was willing to take. Essentially I was seeking perfection. In my work and in my life.This was all fine and dandy when I wasn't a parent, but try making a 4 year old fall into line of your own craziness! But that is rushing forward!

I have lived a full life, I have experienced many things and had wonderful adventures with my family and friends.(I am looking forward to so many more)  From a young age I travelled across Canada with my father ( he had moved from Ontario) I saw the beauty of the mountains, crossed suspension bridges -not sure a six year old should do that alone though!, dipped in the hot springs in Banff and fell in love with the people in 1979 Jasper, Alberta. I watched the whales jump in the Pacific on a ferry near Victoria, BC . All this before I was 10!

I rowed Mirror lake , skated on the indoor rink in Lake Placid, but not before stopping in Quebec for a night swim at the Bonaventure swimming pool. Road tripped with friends to Montreal and ate apple pies and played with rabbits along the way. I found the feeling of home on the streets of New York,and drove in circles in Pittsburgh, where I saw the art of Andy Warhol as it is meant to be viewed.  I learned the joy of waking up with a man I loved in a beautiful Mexican resort, then hours later being in a real town seeing all that was there.  I have  enjoyed the beauty of Vermont, the warmth of Florida and finally the thrill of Europe and holding Jays hand as we walked along the Seine.  Even reading this I realize how amazing that reads, i did all these things with people I love.

These adventures are a gift my life have given me.. yet I still wanted to perfect my life, my world, my body, my mind, my home, my friends, my child!

Well perfection.. I am here to tell you -- it took me 38 years of living to finally hear what my family and friends have been trying to tell me forever! YOU DON'T EXIST!

There is no perfect home
This is no perfect life
There are no perfect clothes
There is no "it" bag
This is no perfect world
There is no perfection
Life is messy .. and in the messiness
There is so much to enjoy.
- my words of wisdom to myself -


And finally , I get it .. I love me just for who I am, not a supermom, not a beauty queen .. me.. and it may take time, and I may forget once in awhile.. but it is time I relax and enjoy all that I am so lucky to have..because if perfection did exist -- all the beauty I have seen in my life wouldn't mean anything.

the little blue eyes that look up at me everyday -- that is where my joy can be found,  and I can't wait to show her the world I have seen.

Whale picture from http://www.whalewatchingvictoriabc.com