This weekend, while sitting on our back deck enjoying the very crispy ( read burnt) back yard, and then mindlessly looking at the old deck boards we had to get rid of. Hubby and I devised a plan - a planter from the old deck boards that were salvageable! an hour later a wonderful "new" planter to hold whatever my hearts desire - first have to buy 10 bags of soil to fill it!
Life much like the old deck boards, at times can look like a pile of junk. I forget sometimes how very blessed I am to have so many possibilities and wonderful people in my life. I am not someone who will just "sit" for long, I must do, do, do -- or must I? An increase in my activity is really just an inability to let something be.. the more pronounced my anxiety or stress the more I struggle to keep my life and environment distraction free. Unlike a hoarder who will surround themselves - I will throw everything out!
So like the old deck boards, I have given myself a new life, with Jay, Emma and family and friends-- one I hope to admire and look back on and be so glad I did. I have not been good at relaxing at all, ever. ( Even in my carefree years with my swampweches, our kitchen tent was spotless!) My mind does not know how to slow down. Constantly working on myself, my thoughts, whatever.. I am going to put it all to rest now.
New haircut, new me, new calm life.. and for the first time in my life I am going to work and not giving a damn about what comes next. ( well baby steps) - as long as I am doing what I love and spend time with those I care about.. the rest will be just fine.
A dear friend of mine once said... Do not live to work, Work to live -- hope she enjoys her poutine and smokemeat sandwich this week.
so not only did the deck get a new life... something old did as well - me!
2 comments:
I aspire to not care about what's coming next too. I look back on my last 20 years or so and realize how much time I spent just trying to get through whatever I was getting through so I could get to the next thing and be content. And it just went on and on!
Enjoy that new planter! I'm currently trying to put together new gates for my backyard--something I've put off for 4 years that has irritated me every single day. It's time to seize the day!
Good luck ! let me know how it goes
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